August 8, 2022

Review and News

Jeremy Clarkson and glam female friend Lisa Hogan have dinner with buddies 

I invited my friend out to dinner (my treat) to celebrate my birthday, making it...

I invited my friend out to dinner (my treat) to celebrate my birthday, making it clear I wanted to take him out, not the other way around. I prefaced my invitation with “If you don’t have any other plans,” and made a reservation for two at a restaurant that I wanted to try. But on the appointed day, I found out that my friend had extended my invitation to his new suitor — and his two large dogs! — without first checking with me.

He thought it was “not a big deal,” but I was miffed. I canceled the reservation and made my excuses, as I felt slighted and frankly did not want to spend an evening with my friend’s new lover. In canceling, I explained that I really wanted to spend time with my friend for my birthday and share a restaurant I was meaning to try with him, and that I would love to have dinner with him and his suitor on another occasion.

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Was I rude to cancel dinner after my invitation was extended to other parties? Or was my friend rude in including a plus-one without first checking with me?

What restaurant allows two big dogs?

Sorry. Perhaps Miss Manners is focusing on the wrong thing. Your friend should not have invited his suitor and certainly not the dogs — and your cancellation was understandable and tactfully worded.

Although Miss Manners would have probably just blamed it on the dogs.

Dear Miss Manners: My partner of six years basically let my outdoor cats make themselves comfortable inside. We live in a warm, dryish climate, so they were happy being outside cats. I would feed them outside.

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Now he is feeding them inside and letting them sleep on the chairs all day. I am fed up with all the cleanup. When I suggest he do it, he just doesn’t. He loves the cats, but won’t take the cleaning responsibility. What can I do?

What about putting him outside? Because if he is sharing your living space, then it is certainly reasonable that he participate in its upkeep.

Miss Manners recommends that you either tell him that your system was working and you plan to return to it — or to start cleaning up cat hair. Perhaps you can get him a lint brush and vacuum for Valentine’s Day.

New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, You can also follow her @RealMissManners.


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